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What I Learned from my First Year of Marriage

March 7, 2019

This year, Alex and I celebrated 12 years together and our first wedding anniversary! Marriage is a holy institution where a husband and wife are bonded through the word of God, and I was able to experience firsthand what this meant after I got married.

There are two main things I learned and it only made me realize how lucky of a wife I am to be able to call Alex my husband!

1. Stop being stubborn and share the weight.
I discovered the importance of relying on Alex to share a burden with me so we can solve it as a unit. While Alex was the one person I could always depend on prior to marriage, there was something that shifted over the year after we exchanged our vows. I’ve always been pretty independent and haven’t really been one to ask for help. I like to find the solution because this has worked for most things in my life.

Well, last year was a turbulent year for me, for reasons outside our relationship. Once I finally let Alex bear the weight and stress of the problems with me, the mental strain plaguing me was alleviated. Throughout all of last year, he kept saying “let me help you” and I continuously responded back with, “no, I will figure it out.”

Towards October, my mental health toppled and could have been avoided had I stopped being stubborn. God intended for husband and wife to work as a team and lean on each other for support.

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what 
God has joined together, let no one separate.”
-Matthew 19:6


2. We get to because we want to, not because we have to.
During college and most of my 20s, I was especially selfish. I will go into more detail about this in a separate post, but essentially I reached maturity in our relationship in my late 20s. Once I knew I was ready for marriage, I started finding myself making smaller decisions here and there with Alex. I was beyond ecstatic for us to make major decisions together and discuss what would be best for us instead of me.

It stopped being “I have to do this” to “I want to do this.” We could strategize anything in our life; ranging from careers to hobbies to decorating our home. It’s setting aside time together every week and realizing the number one priority in our lives is each other.

What I Learned from my First Year of Marriage
Wedding Photographer: Tara Leinen

As the years go by, I am sure I will continue to discover more lessons. But in the meantime, I’m aiming for us to attend church at least once a week and start praying together.

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